NEWTON !!!

Two plus two divided by two is not two but three as per BODMAS rule. 'Koi bhi bada kaam ek din mein nahi hota hain'. 'Imaandaari se dil haalka hota hain, bhojh nahi hota.' 'Aapne joh aaj dekha, woh dekhte dekhte hum bade huye hain.' Paanch ka matlab mutthi aur six ka matlab sixth sense ! 'Bina riswat liye file ee nahi badhaate.' 'Sab se pehle toh Hero mat baniyega, woh joh maange de dijiyega.' 'Wardi mein beenti bhi dhamkee laagti hain.' 'Yeh junglee anda hain, yahan ke murgi bhi bade kraantikaari hain.' 'Sarkari naukri kya laagi, apne aap ko zamindar samajhne laag gaya.' 

Laptop and Mobile in both hands ! 'Agar woh laal hain, toh main kamal hoon; agar woh teer hain, toh main toph hoon.' Election ka samay aa gayo bhaiye, isliye itna bada bada bhashan ! Who got gunned down by Maoists before the upcoming election in mineral rich state of Chattisgarh ? If you are a Government Servant under Central Government or its Undertaking and under State or its Undertaking, then you can be sent to anywhere as Polling Officers during any Election. 'Saajan chale Sasural' ! It is illegal to marry a minor girl. 'Baap hoon mein tera.' Son defied father's order.

'Kamal Kishore, bade smart dikh rahe ho !' Suddenly, Kamal Kishore felt that he has a heart problem ! Reserve bench se koi dumdaar khiladi bhejho bhai. Helicopter se maidan mein utaar naa hain. Welcome to Dandakaranya, the 'Danda ka Aranya'. 'India ka pehla pilot Raavan hee tha' Election is taking place in a forest of naxalite area after a long time and in that polling booth, there are only 76 voters. Pakistani means enemy, enemy means naxals; therefore, naxals are often referred as Pakistani. 'Jungle mein naa, koi logic nahi chalta, yahan sirf yeh chalta hain.'

Aatma Singh is the Assistant Commander under that Presiding Officer. 'Likh ke dijiye koi nahi aayega vote dene.' 'Bulletproof jacket !' Local Block officer Malko joined the team. 'Nahi nahi aap pehen ke raakhiye, aap local nahi hain.' Oho! What a poor condition of that primary school ! 'Manual ke mutabik toh, Presiding Officer kahi bhi chunaav kara sakta hain.' Thik hain Loknath ji, banaaiye ek Ideal Polling Booth. That forest is a zone of cerebral filaria. Take ant bites to heat up your body to save yourself from filaria. 'Iski chaatney banaate hain hum, bahut tasty hoti hain.'

A cold war started between the Presiding Officer and the Assistant Commander ! 'Aapko darr hain naa zero voting ka.' 'Eyi, kaun kaun vote karega ?' Policemen and Military men are not having any confidence or faith on Maoists and the election process in those Maoist areas. Toh fir Jungle main jaisa Jung chal raha hain, baash chalne do. Central Government is funding around 35 million dollars every year to fight against the Naxalism. 'Why it is not enough?' 'It is less !' 'India's democracy truly runs deep !' Is 'Hypocrisy',  an antonym or synonym of the word 'Democracy' ? 

'Bideshi patrakaar saath hain, ijjat ka sawaal hain.' Did those old aged tribal voters voted willingly? 'Your Whatsapp profile is good, I thought you are blonde.' 'Sayed machine pe voting pehli baar hee ho raha hain.' Vote dene se paisa naa milega, toh kya fayda. Vote doh toh Maoist attacks, naa doh toh Police attacks. Delhi jaana aasaan hain, par uske liye election mein khaara hona padega. 'Dekhiye, Voting machine ek khilona jaisa hain'. Time for lunch. 'Laal salaad !' 'Desi ! Desi hain !' Only 4 voters voted willingly ! Department awarded Nutan who rightfully renamed “NEWTON” !!!