Saturday, July 29, 2017

HINDI MEDIUM !!!

'Aajkal padhai, padhai nahi jee, dhanda hain dhanda.' Garibi shikaaye insaniyat; aamiri shikaaye haivaaniyat.'No Hurray!''Hum saale itne harami hain.''Ish baar Ramleela main Jatayu ka role kisi aur ko mil jaayega.''Lollypop deke baccho ko school nahi bheja jaata; ek bacche ko bribe karna, not right.''Dhakkey khaoonga. Line nahi, quotey hee quotey hain.''Maine aapko kaha na, aap log bahut late ho gaye. Parents book me during pregnancy, first trimester ke baad.'

'Same to same.' Hai rabba, modern design ne toh traditional romance ka phool khila diya dono ke dil mein. Design-e-modern; ishq-e-naadaan; ab suno yeh pyar ki dastaan.'Deewangi kahoon isse ya meri fitoor. Koi hooor hooor hooor jaise tu. Khamosiyan sunle meri, isme tera hee ziqr hain.' Raj and Mita fell in love with each other and got married. Pia is their sweet daughter. Time to think for her admission in a reputed school.

Marketing is indeed a skill to play the game with the customer's psychology.'Aap toh Kareena jaise lagte hee hain.''Oye, upar se neeche toh jaana hain, sawal kyon kar raha hain!''Falooda le aa.' Make your customers happy, and then they will automatically make you happy. Top 5 schools as per ratings in magazines! Are these schools really applying good teaching techniques on children to have a good basic education?'Naa toh gaana yaad rahega, naa toh ganit.'

They shifted from Chandni Chowk to Vasant Vihar!'Itna toh main apni bidaayi mein nahi royi.' Ghar change toh naam bhi change!'Kya bulaoge mujhe?''Honey!' Pakoda is tastier than Beluga Caviar. To show your hi-fi status, you have to organize a party! Ok! Yeh Mojito kya hain behenji?'Papa, papa, papa, hamara gaana.' There is no fun in a party without a free minded dance.'Oho ho taare gin gin, main tha jagaa raata nu, rok na paava ankhiyan bichoon, oho ho, ishq tera tadpave.'

The funny thing is, that in India, people make fun if a person is not having a good knowledge in English, though English is itself a very funny language indeed! The poor infrastructure in Government schools is one of the main reasons behind so much hype about the private schools in India. Sarkari vidyalaya mein maatri bhasha, rashtriya bhasha aur antar-rashtriya bhasha eksaath peheli khaksha se hee shikaana chaiye. Media channels are showing'Mission Admission' program!

No online admission forms; all admission forms of private schools are given offline. Baah re baah! Kya digital India hain! Haathon mein Reliance ka 4G Jio mobile handset aur phir bhi school ka admission form lene ke liye raat se hee line lagaao.'Barah baaje se yehi hain aap!''Saara intezaam karke aaya hoon bhai saab.''Consultant! Nursery Admission ke liye!' Yes! Can you imagine! this is that India, the land of Gurukul system! In India, kindly implement'One Nation, One Education.'

Instead of creating a single Education Board, single syllabus with multilingual medium(i.e. from Class I, all students will study mother tongue language, Hindi language and English language simultaneously), single recruitment system for teachers for the entire nation; the Indian Government implemented'Right to Education'(RTE) for the children belonging to'Below Poverty Line'(BPL) category; as a tool of vote bank politics. Rich gets educated and poor remains illiterate!

Pass fail hata do, bacche pe stress padh raha hain jee. Bade hoke jab ek gadhe baanke sadak pe ghumta rahega bekaar aur berozgaari ke kaaran, tab woh stress ko sambhal leka jee. Rajneeti kar ke gaddi sambhalna hain bhaiye, kaun kambakht'Educated India', 'Knowledgeable India' chahta hain! Admission ke liye lottery! For winning a lottery also, there is an agency! Chotu ke ladki ko toh Prakriti school mein admission mil gayi, garib quota mein. Chotu ka laddo kadva laage hain ke?

'Garib bacche aise bade school mein kaise adjust kar paayenge!' So, RTE is basically a backdoor of admission! Before the lottery paper is delivered to the destination through a mineral water bottle, the media channels have disclosed everything about the submission of fake documents through RTE Window by the parents of rich family. Puraane dino ke ek behetrin gaane ki lyrics ko thoda badal ke gaate hain, 'Chalo ekbaar phir se, garib bann jaaye hum dono!' 'What an idea, Sir ji!'

Welcome to Bharatnagar!'Don't touch! Don't touch!' Yeh angrezi bahut bhaari padegi Mitho! As a neighbour, Shyamprakash really has a good heart but he also dreams about the good education of his son. Bhabhiji, Mohan will learn English from you only. Mubarak ho! Aap log Dengue aur Chikangunya ke zone pe rahene aaye hain. Inspection on RTE took place!'Bade komal haath hain aap ke!' Raj was too lucky to get a helping friend like Shyamprakash at the right time!

Pia learned about'Sharing is Caring' from Mohan.'Jo sukh paayo Ram bhajan mein, woh sukh naahi amiri mein, mann laage maaro yaar garibi mein, mann laage maaro yaar fakiri mein.' Rs. 24, 000/- for extra-curricular activities! In the name of Right to Education, is there any Corruption?Who came in front of the car? Mohan ka naam nahi aaya!'School ka kismat kharab hain.''Isko hum Government school mein padhayenge. Yeh jaayega kaal se.'

Paap kiye ho, toh prayaschit bhi isi duniya mein hee karna hain. Who told you that there are no talented students in Government schools. A student of Government school can speak not only in English but in French and Chinese too. Who gave donations to improve the infrastructure of that Government School? Why Shyamprakash didn't complain about Pia to the School Principal? 'Ek jindri meri, sau khawaishen'. Is Pia studying in a government school of “HINDI MEDIUM” ?

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